Review: ‘Quick’ is born to be mild
REVIEW BY BURL BURLINGAME / firstname.lastname@example.org
It’s far too snotty to refer to this motorcycle-mania movie as entirely “pedestrian,” but there you go. It is. It’s wall-to-wall car crashes, cycle stunts, briefly funny asides and way, way, way too many ear-splitting scenes of people screaming in terror.
They’re supposed to be funny. Maybe they are for a few shots. But this seems to go on forever. Even the very last freeze-frame has the stars screaming. In terror? In relief? Maybe the audience is screaming by this point and running from the theater. It’s difficult to care.
The plot relies on tiny bombs the size of a Rubik’s Cube that can level entire buildings. The script demands that they be that small so they can fit in a motorcycle courier’s saddlebag. Otherwise there’d be no movie.
The plot — ahem — is about a motorcyclist and his former girlfriend, and how they’re manipulated by an evil bomb-making genius to race all over Seoul with the police in pursuit. This results in lots of car crashes and screaming. Fun!
That is, until the evil genius reveals how he’s evil, and the revelation is a dash of icy reality into the fast & furious goings-on. Maintaining a consistant tone is the least of the film’s problems.
The two leads are played by Lee Min-Ki and Kang Hye-Won, at least I think they are. They actually resemble anime cartoons played by stick figures.
That’s pretty much it. It’s heartening to discover that the Koreans can make stunt movies as dim-witted and as attention-deficited as Hollywood. The best part is when they Jackie-Chan the end credits and you see how all the stunt people got injured on the job. Ouch.
It’s also fun to discover that, in Korea, motorcycle gangs include members who are Papa John’s Pizza delivery boys on putt-putting scooters. Hey, even gang members need a slice now and then.
Burl Burlingame is a features reporter at the Honolulu Star-Advertiser. Email him at email@example.com and follow him on Twitter.